Failure is defined very simply: a lack of success. But imperfect as we all are, we will fail and we will fail often. But, all will agree that “You always pass failure on the way to success.” ~Mickey Rooney
I recently read an article entitled, Why Do Some People Learn Faster? by Jonah Lehrer. It alerted me to how I respond to failure; both my and my children’s. As failure is part of success, it is a necessary element to learning. Basically, failure is okay - in fact it is good. When I fail, I learn what not to do or what won’t work and then I can approach my task with a new approach as well as a more developed resiliency.
Partly because of this article and partly because of our text used for citizenship, A Book of Courtesy by Sister Mary Mercedes, we have been inspired to eliminate all negative self talk from our school and home. It is too easy to say things like, “that was stupid” or “I’ll never get this” or otherwise pessimistic comments when we fail. This is wrong and not helpful. In fact it hinders our success. My response to failure both as a mother and a teacher is crucial to my children’s success in life. I am teaching them how to respond to failure as it will happen, and often! It is important for me to say things like, “No worries. That’s okay. Let’s try again.” or “Okay, that didn’t work so let’s try something else.” I now make sure to tell my children that failure is a natural part of learning and it is okay to fail. To learn and to grow we must be willing to take risks. A fear of failure will prevent us from taking these necessary risks. If we put forth our best effort in our endeavors and see our failures as steps on the road to success we will grow and we will learn. But if we do slipshod work and are afraid of failure and thus don’t take risks we will remain stagnant. Once again I am reminded how important my own emotional health is in developing my children into mature men and women.
“Failure seldom stops you. What stops you is the fear of failure.” ~ Jack Lemmon
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